Sounds to me like your wife "stalled" for a bit. Did something happen during the period between the first affair and now?

Generally the PA/conflict avoidant personalities go hand in hand and most of your mlcers are conflict avoiders. She may be aware of the childhood issues on some level, but it sounds to me like she is reliving a time in her life when things in upheaval. Do you know much about her parents?

I would say that she is both in replay and the PA disorder. It will take as long as it takes for her to work through her crisis. It could be a short one, but I think it's going to take her quite a while to work through it because she didn't address her issues 4 years ago and is still running.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.