Separation, Settlement, or Servellience?

[Yasu]

Everything is under his name, but we used to share the bank accounts. He removed my name from those accounts. Makes no difference. The judge, if necessary, in our state, will find an "equitable distribution" of the "family business.". In our settlement proposals, we simply ask for half.

Kaffe, I like what you said on another's newcomer's post. That describing how one might act if one were not interested in another. Simply, you would not be putting your best foot forward - nor would you care.

I have observed that in my husband, to the most painful extreme - almost as if on purpose, my attention was being directed to the behavior or comment with a
large foam finger.

Last we were in court, he glanced over to me, to check my reaction. Naturally, I was stunned by the entire performance, as was everyone in the courtroom. His anger and narcissistic reaction on the stand, with just a few simple question was textbook. I was actually ashamed - as normally I can prevent mishaps like this from occurring. Oh dear.

What am I to do? We are not in contact. If we did have a conversation, I know I could handle in a detached fashion, after all I have learned, and my time away from the environment where I, a bit too often, run into him in MY neighborhood, and deal with a high frequency of cars that happen to sit out in front of my house at odd times.

This did happen at the rental - but much less frequently. I just call the police and make a report. The last event at the rental was clearly meant to screw with my mind - which didn't work for long. I had received my new vanity plate, and had placed it in the kitchen window, outside, in the carport - to remind my helper to install for me the next day. Later that evening, I went out with the dogs, and the plate was turned up-side/down. As a perfectionist, anyone that knows me would know for sure something like that would rattle me - and it did.

I accused almost every possible person, and, thankfully, all of these people understand the extreme stress I am under. I called the police, made a report, and we turned the plate right-side-up again. And that was that. The next morning, I was pulling out of the carport to get a coffee at the gas station, and as I shifted in reverse, I looked up, and that plate had been reversed again. At that point, I just ignored it.

One theripist told me my husband would be thrilled if I committed suicide. This is so hard to wrap my head around. Another consideration is that there can possible be alternate explanation for SOME, not all, the sitings. Especially not the ones where he was in the his own car and I saw HIM with my two eyes. Or, when he knew of my activites which could only be learned by watching my home or tailing me.

What does all this mean? It is these little things that keep the momentum going in a way. Same as - not sending the check until Feb. 7th, instead of Jan. 17, when it was due. And, he really didn't hurry up about it - I left the VM last Friday the 3rd, the postmark was yesterday, the 6th. A little mild irritatant. The bills. Still are not paid - and showing past due. Those materials were received by him around the 27th of January.

What does this mean? Is there any hope in my sitch?

I will keep jounaling, as others do. So sorry my thoughts are not chronological - as I am scattered, there is no doubt about that. Yas