Thanks for the responses... just knowing there is a place to go and discuss this is helpful, because I don't want to discuss it with our family/friends because I don't want her to think I'm trying to "get them on my side" (she hasn't used that phrase). The biggest issues I have right now are how do I detach and do the things I need to protect myself, when her biggest complaint has been that we don't communicate and I'm not affectionate enough. It seems the 180s (not start the conversations, etc) run counter to what she needs (or at least what she has needed in the past). If I don't start the conversations, she never will (because she's such an introvert), even the bomb, I had to pull it out from her because she didn't want to discuss it. She was sitting on the floor upset one night and I begged her to tell me what was bothering her so we could work it out together (I figured it was the OM sitch that was bothering her).
Every morning when she leaves for work, she comes to me (I don't pursue) and she gives me a kiss and a hug goodbye. Do I continue that or not? I'm trying to stop saying ILY when she gives me the kiss/hug goodbye, but I'm concerned that if I stop or become less affectionate, then she might get the wrong idea and withdraw even more.
M36 W35 S8 S5 M11 T17 ILYB Bomb: 01/25/12 Still living in the same house, sharing the same bed, trying to make it better
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly."
