Kaffe,
I knew many of my h's "negative" sides, and I accepted them, for he had many positive ones as well, over the years I saw many sides of him as I am sure he saw of me... this is what I thought marriage was about, however he decided it was better to just walk away...that is on him

I am learning alot about myself in these months apart and I am learning that a man who can walk away, is not a man at all to me.. it would possibly be different if I understood some of it, or if I felt he was working on this but he does not communicate with me at all unless i contact him.

My point is, i have started to open my eyes to zero expectations, and even that proves to be a stretch, I knew my h was capable of "turning off" the emotional connection to those important to him, I watched him do it to others through out the years, sometimes for very real reasons and other times he had some grudge they didnt even know about...

I say out loud what bothers me most is the fact he has closed off to the kids as well, but i know I mean the family... the whole family , myself included... time will tell if this is permeneant or not. but i suspect it is what it is... he states the only thing that matters to him is his d, but he does nothing to reach her, no phone calls no nothing, 2 visists totally less then 5 hours in nearly 2 months is hardly a relationship.

I can not comprehend how a person can do this? I really truly know i can not get in his head, but i cant help but wonder how a person can walk away????

its a place I have to go because d ask questions.. she is 8 yr old and doesnt understand what she did? I try to be positive, so that I dont say bad things about her dad, but I cant help but wonder myself why is he shutting her out too... He tells her she can call, but why should she have to, and most of the time she calls and gets his voicemail and it full so she cant leave a message...

This is so hard... and as for dating, i am not ready, and I am still married, I do not want to muddy the waters even more...

m 41
h 44
d 17 (prev marriage)
d 9
Never give up!!!!!