I would like a new marriage with my husband. He knows how poorly he treated me. He knows how he emotionally neglected me. I would like a marriage do-over, as I would not accept such treatment again.
I have changed, I am not a doormat any longer. No longer will I allow that sort of abuse and anger to build up inside me where I actually have a panic attack response (he finds those uncomfortable). The best solution to a nasty attitude is to walk out the door and do something fun. This I know now. (before, I was scared to leave the house, and he discouraged me as well).
I am afraid to be alone. I do miss him terribly. I suppose I don't have experience with much else - I was comfortable, and secure with him. Even though I knew he was a liar - I thought it was just a pathological trait entrenched in him for various reasons. He couldn't fool me very easily - as I can read the "tells" on his face, and he is an easy mark for cross examination.
I know the areas that I need to improve, and have taken care of the visuals. He did say he felt I had given up on myself when I had to stop working. I lost my career due to being a whistle blower, and the retaliation at my job over the years did eventually make me sick. But, I was insured, and my income is not that much less, even though I am disabled. Now the matter is even more complicated with the bi-polar. Medication is working ok. But side effects are not so great.
Oh! The check just arrived in the mail. Why in the world did he have to wait till the sixth of Febuary to mail it? He has pleanty of dough. Hope I answered the questions, can't see much on this iPhone screen! Yas
Married 27 Years Together 32 Years 4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08 Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
