I'm glad to have read parts of your story; I'll need to catch up more on your previous threads.
I'm sorry that your journey has been going on for years, and it still continues. I think most newbies here, like me, look for 'happy endings'. That is all we want to see, something that will give us hope to be strong and keep going in hopes of saving our M.
While I'm not saying that your story does not have happy ending, but I think it's important for us to see that it's not always going to be a "happily ever after" in terms of the current M, but I do see a happier future for you, even if it doesn't have your H in it.
What I see is a person who has been strong for a long time, made sacrifices, but kept going because, well, the world doesn't stop for our problems. I admire you for your strength and all that you've been through. While I "hear" that you are tired and want to move on, I also "see" that you have grown tremendously. And sometimes time comes when we decide for ourselves that enough is enough.
When you said that you were DBing for yourself, I think that is what everyone needs to say. Yes, we love our spouses and want our M to improve and be a happy one again. But I think that we really do need to focus on ourselves, because that is the only thing we have control of.
Just curious, when your H moved back and your started to R, did you go to MC? In retrospect, what worked and what didn't?
Btw, your calendar system is awesome! It's nice that the kids are fully on board with it, too!
