So I met with W and we talked for about 45 minutes. She was very cordial and she did give me my key back. We started talking a little bit about what is going on in our lives she did show concern that I still didn't have a car (she had a car that was hers before we separated so she took it and I haven't bought a new one). She asked why my parents just couldn't give me one of theirs since they have three and there are only two of them. I said thanks, but don't need one right now. I did apologize for things I did in the past, and she did mention that there were a few times when I drank too much and said hurtful things which I validated (mind you, some of these things were when I was 25 or 26 and I am now 32), and she said well "it is what it is", no use in re-hashing things. She did mention that I looked good and that she's glad to hear that things are going well.
Finally, she asked if I had spoken with my L. I said yes, and she asked when we could finalize things.
She did say she cares for me and wants happiness for me, but these words seem to ring hollow for me (not out of spite, but because her actions don't really follow this).
While I understand that I shouldn't bring OM up and didn't, it did bother me a bit that while she was being nice to me and acting like she cared, I knew this wasn't a positive for my situation. I couldn't help but think it is just easiest for her to act nice because she think i'm in the dark about everything.
I know, I know...this is absolutely NOT the way to think, but I think to some extent it is reality. That is why I think it is much harder for DB'ing to work when there is an OM involved. I truly think that the WAW will say anything nice to let the LBS down easy and reduce their guilt and state various reasons for leaving to justify their actions regardless of if those were the true reasons that they decided to leave the M (she even mentioned that she wanted to take dance lessons and I didn't want to).
I'm certainly not going to say that this predicament is not my fault, but I know this board is all about trying to help both LBS for themselves and in the process if they can help the M, even better. I hate having to hold something in like this. Maybe it is the right idea, but for me, it just seems like our conversations are so superficial and hollow.
25 - I did tell her that being apart from her like this has made me realize how special she really is (the compliment that you asked me to let her know). She responded with an uncomfortable smile and said "i'm not that special.
As for your question above regarding my W being friends with them or just being my other half, she definitely had her own relationship with them.
I will be curious to hear what she tells my friend's W tomorrow night. I think that we did have a nice conversation, but she definitely is still all about moving forward with the D.
