[I've been away from the computer for a day, and my last thread went over 100... sorry dbmod.]
Just have to say it again: I don't know where I would be if I hadn't found the unconditional support of this family. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!! Links to the last ones:
Latest sitch: I'm traveling around Florida for 2 weeks visiting with family and friends... b/c H wants to date my BFF- and now she's my EXBFF because she wants to date hims as well.
I have been reading everyone's sitch while I'm traveling, I just haven't had the time to post and respond to my DB family.
Journal: Driving for 13 hours straight gives you A LOT of time to think... not such a good thing given my current state of mind. I got a book on tape and that seems to help keep my occupied- it's a murder mystery- no love, loss or feelings of any kind!!!
Had a great time watching Super Bowl with BIL and his co-workers. It was kinda funny- BIL kept keeping tabs on me. If he couldn't see me, he would wander around the house until he found me and then make eye contact and walk off again... it's like he was afraid of loosing me and having to explain that to H (who is the older brother.) If you didn't see my post on Rick's football thread: I watched the game, outside with only the moonlight, by a pool in 70 degree weather.... it was awesome!! Not to mention, that BIL and I were the ONLY Giants fans out of the 30 people who came- so we REALLY enjoyed gloating!!
Made it farther down into FL to my MIL house. She's a park ranger, and I got to go with her to a talk she gave to some elementary kids about fire safety and the animals in the park. **interesting background on my R with MIL: She HATED me (with a passion!) when H and I got M. For our 2 year engagement, I had to listen to her talk about his ex-gf that she adored and how they should be the one's getting M. H never heard her say these things and didn't think his mom was capable of being so mean, so he didn't step in. On my wedding video, her toast speech (to the entire reception hall) was: "We'll see how long it lasts!!" (H finally stepped in.) It wasn't until our first son was born- that I put my foot down. I told her that if she had any intention of being in that kid's life- she had to come through me... she became civil. She got a divorce 3 years after our wedding- and she broke down to me. She confessed that she was jealous of me since I was starting out on a great M meanwhile hers had been falling apart... so she was taking out her anger on me. She and I slowly developed a friendship and now (9 years after I've come into her life) she LOVES me!**
She has been a great support and insight into my sitch- she was the WAW in her M ((but COMPLETELY justified after H had an EA for 10 years, and refused to give it up. (some of you know) her exH is now M to that EA.)) She doesn't agree with what H is doing, but she understands his reasons. She feels that he didn't give it enough time- esp. since we have young kids. MIL didn't get up the nerve to think about WA until both her kids were at college... and even then it took her 5 years to finally do it- so she thinks its an easy out for H to leave after only 6 months of 'trying'.... H doesn't talk to her about our R anymore.
So, I tried calling to talk to my boys tonight- at their bedtime. No answer, and I get a call back 20 minutes later. My S told me that they were in the car driving back to the house- that made me really angry. I talked to S for a little and then got handed over to H. I didn't ask where they were or why the boys were out so late (cause I already knew the answers: OW's house). He asked about my super bowl party (he already knew the details b/c I saw BIL texting H through out the night) and he asked about my day with MIL. I politely responded with just enough, but not everything. I didn't ask him anything about his last 2 days. Especially didn't ask about what arrangements he had made for the boys during his work days- I think he would see it as a judgement on his dad abilities if I questioned him about the details. As if I don't think he is capable of taking care of them (this was said to me a few times over the years in similar sitchs) so it's a 180 for me to let him be completely in charge and not ask anything about it or offer to solve a problem.
He asked if we could do family talk after breakfast, because his nights "are so hectic"... I really wanted to say: "Oh, really?! It must be so hard to get off of work and go to the gym for 2 hours while OW has the kids all day, and then you have to pick them up and go home... such a tough life you lead." But I just said that we could try the breakfast call and see if it works better.
I really hope OW gets tired of being the nanny to H. I don't like that me leaving has created a sitch where they *have* to spend more time together. I hope that H realizes that the boys should be in bed at their bedtime- otherwise, they don't sleep well at night and are cranky the next day... it's only day 3 on his '2 weeks single dad life'... I'm kinda laughing inside thinking about him complaining later in the week.
I am really trying to not think about H and OW while I'm traveling.... it's tough. I'm honestly not worried about the safety of my kids- I know that H is an awesome dad and OW has been with them their whole lives... it just irks me that, in my absence, they have the opportunity to get closer.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
