I've posted a few times before, with limited response. Do alot of reading in what other people are going thru and what I'm going thru. My wife and I have been married 10 yrs, together 12. We both work in the fire service and spend more time apart than together. The last four 4 months of 2011 is where all of our problems started. My wife is also in nursing school which means more time apart from each other. There are times when I would get upset with her and would tend to hold a grudge. We got to where we weren't spending any time together due to school and work, it got to the point I felt like she didn't care about the marriage so why should I. It was to the point where I didn't care wether she was here or not, once she finished the last semester in Dec I guess she realized that she was tired of mean being unemotional or acting like I didn't care or want her around. By the time Chistmas came she had come to the decision that she didn't want to be married anymore and after some short discussion she told me she was done and wanted out. I was distraught, I realized that I had made a big mistake and didn't want her out of my life, I wanted to do anything possible to keep her around. Things turned miserable, no talking, cold shoulder's and she left the bedroom and we took turns sleeping on the couch. She even bought a bok about how to file on line for a quick divorce. I started to see a counselor to work out some issue I have with a previous PA on her part. 4 yrs ago, never really got past it. When had a few long discussion's with her telling me she really wanted this divorce. She talked about us picking days so to watch the kids so the other one would not be at home, wanted me to come up with a parenting plan for the kids. Of course I stalled, bought the divorce remedy and made sure I was doing anything to jepordize our marriage any further. After a week to week and a half she seemed to warm up to talking about anything in general, I went back to being the loving caring husband I was when we were married, and applied no pressure to her about the marriage or R or MC, about a week later she had fallen asleep on the couch and I woke her up to help her up to bed, after getting her settle i went over to grab my pillows and told her I would sleep on the couch, she stated that I didn't need to do that and I could stay in the bed with her, I was shocked, over the next xouple of weeks we talk about alot of stuff in general, I have been hesitant in bringing up anything about the marriage in general, because I don't want it to seem like pressure. She has no contact towards me, but doesn't have a issue if I give her a massage, or put my hand on her shoulder. Every once in awhile I get one of the pet names from her like hone, sweetie. There was one night a week ago where we were romantic, again a surprise.
My question to the group is when do you think I should bring up the conversation about the marriage. I have been holding off because we are still getting comfortable in having conversation's in general.
I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic that we can work this out.
Sorry for the length but I would appreciate any advice.
