Forgiveness

[antlers]

Antlers,

this is not complicated. it seems pretty complicated when you're in the midst of it. I can see how it's not complicated to someone who isn't emotionally invested in it.

Back off the son and embrace the time you have with your youngest d. What healthy choice do you have?
I don't have any other healthy choice but that. I am really enjoying the time with my daughter. It'd be easy to back off my son because I haven't heard one word from him since he left.

There was a time, I suspect, when none of them wanted to be around you.
So take what you can get for now and savor it. Yep. There was. But things change. My son now wants nothing to do with me, and my youngest daughter is spending time with me. She hasn't mentioned that nasty text she sent in December and neither have I.

Big picture-there is progress. There has been progress with my daughter. Things have gotten bad with my son. Real bad. Things are up and down with me...there are peaks and valleys, but overall, I DO believe I've made a lot of progress personally since Halloween.

"DO" NOTHING about your son for now, (but staying involved in his schoolwork via communication with them). Nothing? Should I not continue to text him once or twice a week? That's really all I can do. I do stay in touch with his school.

Stop trying to control the outcome. It will get better IN TIME. I hope it does. I don't want to control any damn thing or anybody...just me. I feel like I'm losing my son though. It's heartbreaking.

You have to back off...pull way back.OK. But can you elaborate on "back off...pull way back"? I'm not in a position to do much of anything else. Does that mean stop attempting communication with him at all?

Can you do that? Yeah. I can. Damn, I've done lots of stuff since all this began that I didn't think I could. It doesn't come natural though. It takes EFFORT. And the passage of time alone don't do it for me. I've gotta take positive action during that passage of time. Again, can you elaborate on what 'that' is? If not, why not?

That is a question you really have to ponder. I guess there's been some times in the past that backing off, letting go, and pulling back have been hard for me. I guess I tied in my self worth with whatever I needed to back off from, or let go of, or pull back from. Anytime I've not done that, the results have been negative. Pursuit for instance, has NEVER worked well for me.

(((( ))))