Together since we were 15...Part 3

[Jenna333]

I'm struggling on and off with anxiety. It's hard to try to come back together after he left me and hurt me to such a degree. Trusting that he won't leave again and that he does mean what he's saying will just come with time and consistency, I suppose. I wish our counseling appointment was sooner than the 21st.

Things are going very well. We're planning on moving in together in maybe a couple of months. He's going to not get his own place. He's going to stay at his mom's to save money, then move into the apartment with the kids and I. We're not going through with legal child support. We're pretty positive we'll be back together for good before long.

It's just so much, so fast, kwim? He had been pondering coming home since a few weeks after he left, and I did see signs of that, but I tried to tell myself that it wasn't going to happen and he just wanted to cake eat. He was confused and didn't want to come back until he was sure things would be different and he truly wanted it.

I just need to take some deep breaths. He IS happy to be with me. He DOES want this. He even talked to me about Valentine's Day. He's always made me truffles every year. He was excitedly talking about what we could get each other that day. We were mostly joking about trading sexual favors He told me he loves me, he loves being with me and talking to me...he said all of this feels so right.

I just need to take deep breaths, let it all sink in, and trust that he means all of it. It's like I know he does, but I'm scared. I don't want to be scared. Fear held me back my entire life. I need to trust that he wants this as much as I do (I think he thinks he wants it more) and that we'll do everything we can to become happy people who when together, only amplify each other's happiness His words.