T answer Abbey, before this happened, yes I was very open with her that I needed the affection. Long before the affair even took place. I have learned a lot over the last few weeks though. I have learned that people show love and affection in different ways. I was consumed with needing her to show love to me the same way I was showing it to her. In my mind, the fact that she would not do it meant that she didn't love me as much as I loved her. And as our sex life dwindled, I just believed that she was falling out of love with me. I never looked into finding these answers before. I thought I knew. Now I am reading all I can and learning why this really happened. Truthfully, I don't think she wants to try to salvage this marriage and I can't fault her for that. I don't understand how I am coming off negative though. Im not saying I'm not. If people are telling me that I am, then obviously I am. I need to figure that out for sure and make sure I'm not coming off as negative towards her! Anyway she told me last night on the phone that if I scheduled an appointment with a counselor that she would go. I asked her to try to spend more time with me, or at least talk to me a little more. If there is no communication then there is no hope at all. The truth is, in another month and a half the divorce can be finalized. I asked if she had been thinking about the divorce, and she said "a little". Knowing my wife, she truly is only thinking about it a little. That scares me. So if I come off as a bit desperate, well I am. I'm trying very hard to give her lots of time and space and not bother her and be there when she wants to talk. Unfortunately, it's rare that she wants to.
M-36. W-27 S-2 W moved out, filed for D after my A. I'm DBing the best I can! Learning every day, praying and hoping.
