WHG: And Alice goes down the rabbit hole...

[workinghardguy]

Just popping in... it was a busy weekend. It's so hard right now to not say something, do something towards my W. To just keep being part of the process and not screaming to stop. But I'm not. I do believe I need to be more positive in my attitude towards the move, though I will admit that is hard to do.

GAL'd Friday night with friends from church. Haven't had the courage yet to tell them about things. Took S to his wrestling tournament on Saturday. He got a trophy and was so proud. It made me sad though when we got home and he was crestfallen that his mom wasn't home nor made the tourney. I had thought maybe she would make it, she had been asking questions about the drive and times, but in the end she got home too late/early in the morning to get up and get there and keep her commitments to her friends.

I've been keeping my distance for the most part from my W. As part of the agreement on splitting assets I am providing her money for her half of what she's leaving in the house. I don't have the cash so I'm buying things as she asks on lines of credit I have. Already she is running out of our agreed upon amount. Last night she started hinting that she would need more. I calmly reminded her of our agreement, gave her the updated spreadsheet, and said I would do what we agreed on.

W went all weekend without so much as a call or text to me. Yet today she is sick so I get three texts and two calls because she wanted to know if I could come home early so she didn't have to take care of the kids after school. Yet, she was supposed to work today so that's already set up to happen. I simply texted her back that child care was already arranged since it is "my day" due to her working, and I hope she felt better.

I've also noticed twice in the past two weeks I've saved her from being late for work. I haven't meant to... I've simply confirmed something for the next day to which her reply is "I don't work at X time, I work at Y time." I tell her I got my times from the schedule she gave me... she goes and looks and realizes she had her schedule down wrong. I wonder how this will work when she's alone. I'm not intending to save her from herself... it just happens.

Last night I got a good night from her. When she has been around she's being very friendly. We had this weird word usage thing where she called the rental house, "our house", I mean "yours and mine"... I mean "my house"... that was strange. But all in all these are observations. I'm not hanging on them. Over the weekend I let my son call my W once, after the tourney, because he wanted to tell her about his trophy. I didn't send her pics, videos or anything. I posted them to Facebook and later told her they were there if she wanted to see them.

And she keeps telling me about her Facebook posts. I just don't understand her. But I'm having more fun at least. And I still don't want the move to happen, but part of me wants it just happen already so I can get my house back without boxes and stuff everywhere.