You are looking at this like it has to be one or the other.
It doesn't have to be right now. That is what I am trying to get through to you.
Just be.....
You have things YOU need to do, and she has things that SHE needs to do.
This really makes good sense.
The looking back over your shoulder to see where she is , is what is keeping you from your things.
In a sense I know this but my intellectual understanding doesn't always jive with my emotional maturity
You looking back over your shoulder is what is keeping her from doing HER things.
Maybe...I'm not sure about this...I guess as long as she knows what my goal is in this sitch...it can't help but put some type of pressure on her
You stated above that you are tired of living "as if". That might be the biggest thing that you need to realize right now.
What good is realizing this? I'm not sure what you mean by realizing it is the biggest thing? You mean, don't live as if, just live? Did you go through this process like me? How did this go for you?
Right now, you are working towards your fears instead of away from them, because you haven't addressed them yet.
Can you give me a practical example of this? I kind of understand this but not sure. Do you mean I'm trying to force my fears into a workable daily existance as opposed to just going where my life and soul lead me?
Taking charge of yourself first , then seeing where things are at.
Great advise.
What I see for you right now, is that you are looking for each and every positive and negative sign from her. You are looking at your feet when you step, instead of the path that you are walking.
Yeah - funny, I would have given this same advise to another here, but needed to hear it for my own life. I am fullfilled in most important areas of my life and keep having this vision of a great relationship in the future. It's weird but i can kind of feel it like its real - I can hear it, feel it, even smell it. At this point can't picture with who though and this is a bit unsettling. Maybe its just a defensive manuever that I'm too afraid to picture my W, but what the hell, I'd like to live it one way or the other.
You re-fuel yourself, from the inside. Stop looking towards her to do that for you.
For you to do that did you have to just let your M go, whatever the outcome? Did you let go so much that you were essentially a single guy again, open to anything? Did you draw some line where you would go while in this process with your W?
Where does your Faith lie ?
You have to have faith in this process, that it guide you to where you NEED to go.
You have to have faith in yourself that you are capable of this.
You have to have faith that SHE will do HER work...
Faith, yes, or moments of losing it. i think this has been a lifeling issue for me...in many cases feeling me against the world...or thinking my way out of a surrenduring to faith
DB101 and go back to a begginers mind...
I think I should reread this
Would you rather she came back because she NEEDED to be with you ???
