EA, I didn't mean to sound harsh with my statement, but it was my honest viewpoint. I can't see what's salvageable in the marriage. (I also apologize for skipping over some of the middle posts, where you were doing some fabulous DB'g. I just noticed the current "tossing of the wardrobe" incident and went from there.)
BUT.... I'm not in love with him and never was. There was something that drew you to him in the first place so obviously there was something for you at least at one time. In spite of that, for you to say, "To be honest with you i don't know if i want to save this at this point" shows that you're at least seeing some of what I can see from my objective viewpoint (as objective as it can be hearing only one side of the story) even blurred by your feelings for him. Perhaps tomorrow everything will turn a 180 for you and you'll rediscover a list of reasons to save it, and I sincerely hope it does.
None of us want to see someone else make the same mistakes that we made, so our responses will reflect that. They're not intended to beat you up or convince you of your decision, only to lay something out for consideration. And sometimes, it's just nice to know that it's okay to put down the sword and stop fighting. The final decision is up to you, of course. Take what helps and throw away the rest.
Having children does not make your M any more or less worthy of saving. What is does do is amplify the problems an immeasurable degree. Can you imagine at this point having to turn your children over to your H every other weekend, so that he and OW could go play house?
Bottom line, everything you just said in your previous post is perfect! Your possible future children (with or without current H) will be blessed because of it.
