I'm glad you are feeling those things. Because IF you are that deep in yourself, at least you are focusing on the right things.
You are looking at this like it has to be one or the other.
It doesn't have to be right now. That is what I am trying to get through to you.
Just be.....
You have things YOU need to do, and she has things that SHE needs to do.
The looking back over your shoulder to see where she is , is what is keeping you from your things.
You looking back over your shoulder is what is keeping her from doing HER things.
That fear that I spoke of earlier. You are going to have to deal with that sooner, rather than later.
Living your life in fear, is not really living.
You stated above that you are tired of living "as if". That might be the biggest thing that you need to realize right now.
Right now, you are working towards your fears instead of away from them, because you haven't addressed them yet.
Your thoughts become your fears...
And your fears are becoming your goals.
Whether you think you can, or think you can't.....you are right....Henry Ford
Quote:
I don't know if I'm behind, in front, in outer space or lost in inner space. I have no clue but I do know I'm responsible for it all. If I let down, the house and finances go down. If I let down my kids suffer, my company and employee's suffer, my writing and creative partner suffers, I suffer.
Those are the things you SHOULD be focusing on. The things you do have control of.
Taking charge of yourself first , then seeing where things are at.
What I see for you right now, is that you are looking for each and every positive and negative sign from her. You are looking at your feet when you step, instead of the path that you are walking.
Now is the time when you reach down and find what is inside, and know that you are going to be okay, regardless of your future. That you are capable of your future, and you are willing to have a future.
You keep yourself spinning in circles, waiting for this epiphany to happen. I can tell you, that it won't. You are like a hamster on wheel, every time you think you can get ahead, the wheel comes back around , and there you sit. Waiting for her to help you off.
You re-fuel yourself, from the inside. Stop looking towards her to do that for you.
Where does your Faith lie ?
You have to have faith in this process, that it guide you to where you NEED to go.
You have to have faith in yourself that you are capable of this.
You have to have faith that SHE will do HER work...
It is so easy to get caught up in the "right or wrong thing" to do thinking...
When in doubt....
DB101 and go back to a begginers mind...
So....in the spirit of making you think....
Would you rather she came back because she NEEDED to be with you ???
