Suddenly Separated in VA -- need your help

[mimivac]

Journaling: well, this weekend had its ups and downs. H was around the whole time (he has moved out, but is staying with me for a few days because of car repairs), and we generally got along as well as usual, except that he was not physically affectionate the way he used to be. Last night, he informed me that he had been invited to a superbowl party and then left. Didn't say where he was going, who would be there, when he would be back, or anything. At first, I was hurt. I wasn't invited and H didn't even think he needed to give me any basic information. It's like he's decided he no longer has any responsibility toward me or the marriage. He comes and goes as he pleases.

Then I remembered that we are separated because H wants time and space and isn't sure that he wants to be "in the confines of a marriage." So, his actions are consistent with that, and I need to GAL instead of analyzing and worrying about what he is and is not doing. When he got home I was in bed and he came to sit next to me and talk about the puppy bowl of all things. I'm glad I didn't complain about his not inviting me, etc. It was much more pleasant that way.

I am realizing what GAL really is. I think I had been confusing it with LRT. I am doing OK with LR -- not initiating any contact, but being friendly and upbeat when H does. But I kind of sat around all weekend, waiting for what H was going to do instead of getting on with my own things. This week my goal is to really examine how I want to improve myself and make a list of all the interests that I have put off pursuing and start slowly exploring them. I live in an urban area where there are tons of free lectures, concerts, exhibits, shows, etc. I always said I was going to take advantage of these things but never did. This week I will start. I want my life to be full and vibrant, with or without my H.

Thanks for reading. This site is an inspiration to me.

Mimi

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M:37; H:37; M: 10 years; T:13 years; no kids.
Bomb: 1/08/12
Separated: 1/18/12