Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

I'm sure I should start a new thread....

I guess another week has passed. H and are are "theoretically" separated although he hasn't moved out. He just continues to travel.

We told the kids that we are having issues and H will likely move out in about a month. The two oldest (11 and 8) took it very hard and sobbed for about 45 minutes. H thought it was horrible telling them. He commented again that he might regret all this, and I can tell it's hard on him. But, no change in his attitude about continuing the A.

I told my parents yesterday that we are having issues (I did not tell them about the A). They were sad but not overly surprised, they've observed his work travel.

I am sure I am in an EA with this new guy. We check in with each other every morning, chit chat a little during the day, and then have gotten into fairly long texting sessions at night. Mostly, we just talk about day to day stuff but I do vent to him about H. It's interesting in a way because I feel like I can see how H felt...

H got home tonight after being gone almost a week. He was pretty nice with the kids, but then snapping at me. (said he didn't appreciate my "f---ing b----" attitude when I told him I didn't feel like talking tonight. (I am sitting here and have work I should be doing)

I don't know...I can tell he's hurting inside on some levels...but I am just so tired of his selfishness. I almost don't notice it anymore...but my friends constantly call him out on it. Once again, no idea where he was this weekend and I am alone with the kids.

I guess I can be the experiment for going off the rails. I don't know...it's just really scary how powerful these affairs are. And, I don't know what the right answer is for handling them. I think you just need to focus on yourself and not be overly worried about doing anything that can alienate your spouse. In the end, they are ALREADY having an affair...how much worse can it get?

I am glad I took the high road and tried...but I almost wonder if I should have gotten angrier earlier...I'd recommend reading several books on affairs to get perspectives if you are going through this. I think Shirley Glass's is the best.