feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

just got back from ER with S14 again..torn ligaments in his ankle (he was at the skatepark)
I text and called H with no response..then decided to call one more time as we were leaving as i thought it was broken because he couldnt put any weight or walk on it at all. H finally answered very annoyed and rude and said he was watching the super bowl what did I need...i was pretty taken aback, his tone was really rude, but just told him what happened and that we were going to ER.. I asked "are you at home" and he said yes but was watching the game....why dont i just give him a call if they decide to put a cast on because if they do that then of cours ill come down....????? WTF???? I said "are you kidding me???" let me add that H lives 4 blocks away..and the ER is about 1 mile away from our house.. I didnt really know what else to say so I hung up...it was obviouse the ow was there and he wasnt going to be bothered. so i loaded my 145 lb son in my truck all by myself ... He then called while we were on our way and asked where i was taking him and I told him which ER. he then hemmed and hawed about coming and finally said "just call me and let me know what they say"....S14 actually said when i got off the phone "well at least he called to check on me"...O my gawd!!! I am so angry right now!!!!!..His son has been blowing him off for weeks because he thinks his dad doesnt care and H has a chance to step up to plate and do something to show his son he matters and this is what he does?????? I never say anything to S14 about H..I stay out of it but this time I just lost it...i told him that he deserved better then a phone call, and that a dads responsability is to be there no matter what, when ever you need him and DO NO SETTLE FOR HIS BS!!!!! I know I shouldnt have said anything but Im tired of it..tired of making excuses for him and tired of his bs about never being given the chance to step up...and tired of him BSing my son.
who the heck is this person??? what happened to this man 6 months ago that makes him all the sudden not give a crap about his son and his feelings?? How does a person behave this way and not feel like crap???!!!! I DONT GET IT!!!!
Then of course S14 wants to call H when we finally get home and he asks him point blank why he didnt come to the ER with us and H tells him I didnt tell him which one we were going to....which of course S14 heard me tell him, then S14 asks him who he is with and H says no one, hes watching the game alone. S14 gets off the phone and says "dad just lied to me, he said he was alone but I could hear people and then he said we didnt tell him which ER we went to and we did"...I just stood there and didnt really know what to say so said nothing.
I know this is not my problem to fix, I know there is nothing I can do about it...but when it effects my son like this it makes me want to snap someones neck!!!!!...He is a pathetic excuse for a father and I really dont even think he deserves to be called by that title. We are amazing!!! and if he chooses to sit over there in his sad pathetic little life with his girlfriend who he is so miserable with then have at it you freaken idiot!!!..you dont deserve to have a family as amazing as us..just sit over there and keep whining about your miserable life and wallow in it for all I care..

woooosh....ok, i think im done...im not even gonna read this before I post it...i needed to just vomit all of that out and get rid of it...deep cleansing breath...glass of wine..im good.