Waiting for the tides to change - 2

[BFloat]

i am beautiful gosh darn it!!! hahahahaha

rick - i think w/ women, if you have straight hair.. you envy the curly hair.. if you have curly hair.. you want straight hair. and then one day you discover that's what hot rollers and hair straighteners are for! 15 is a difficult age. becoming a women and still very much a child. i was a horror between about 15-17 (honestly look back and am shocked at my behaviour) but look at me now! hahaha.. the fact that you love and accept her is the best thing. she may not admit it now.. but it will make the world of difference later on. sort of like an WAS i guess

spending a couple of hours in bed this morning very different from a few weeks ago when i physically felt like i just wanted to sleep so i wouldn't have to think or feel anything. i opted out of going to the movies and have enjoyed reading the boards.. scrolling through the net.. reading my new book (which is excellent so far! learning a lot)

have been going through boxes of clothes to donate from my mom's place. scored a pair of snowboarding pants that i think were my sister's! plus.. fit it to some stuff i had given up hope of ever fitting into!!

will meet a gf later to check out some thrift shops and funky boutiques. coffee.. chatting.. then maybe will watch godfather again tonight (i love that movie). home tomorrow to my babies! i have thought of them so often this weekend! when i went shopping i bought stuff for them. was out and saw a star wars variety club pin which i had to buy for S!! can't wait to hear D's little voice saying.. it's mommy!

ok.. this is a dumb story.. while my mom was looking at coats yesterday, i was wandering around and found a cat toque w/ little ears. i put it on.. snuck around the coats and popped out at mom and said "meow!". she almost had a heart attack!!! when i did that something clicked. i thought, i use to do things like that all the time. H and i use to have so much fun w/ things like that. when did i stop? maybe that's what my gf meant when she said she saw a spark that has been missing for years. hmmmmmm...