Here's another prime example of PA behavior: one week prior to my birthday, my xh would deliberately make a point of doing something to destroy my special day. It never failed. My mother would ask him what he was planning to purchase me for my birthday and his comment would always be "I don't know, haven't given it much thought". My mother would advise him that he better get moving as he only had a day left to do something. She would point out how I always ensured that he had a happy birthday and would purchase him whatever he had expressed an interest in at that time. He was the same way with Christmas, but my birthday appeared to be the thorn in his side.
They are so cunning, controlling and manipulative in a way that you never think about it until you've educated yourself on PA behavior. As far as I am aware, his brother and parents were not like this. They were very open with their thoughts/emotions. My xh was always so quiet and you couldn't read him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
