It is so funny to have people out there on the internet able to clearly see the future.......
My H didn't make it through Saturday without a complete back to her back to me swing. I spent another couple hours talking with him....... It is killing me.
I had remarked on what I was going to make for Superbowl food. It is just us, I made no plans due to his level of distress this week. I also had said I wanted to rearrange the master bedroom.
Suddenly he is back to geting himself (And the OW) a little house. I said, wow, that isn't what you said 2 days ago. He said some blah, blah, blah stuff. To which I went back over the whole conversation, including the parts where I made him clarify what our plan was.
He then said she wanted him to come over and watch the Superbowl with her. And then he started worrying about giving her equal time to talk to him, as there are three people involved,
I told him pretty plainly that if he decides to go back to her I won't take him back. I told him this is getting beyond silly. I told him he is really hurting me.
I then read him a few choice paragraphs out of Men in Midlife Crisis and The Sex Starved Marriage. Then sat him down and had him read Chapter 17 in the Conway book. The Marriage Knot.
Believe it of not, he was getting it. He sent her a text telling her he couldn't watch the game with her. Then asked me to go to a movie with him and he left his phone at home.
He told me he knows his best decision is to stay with me. He just doesn't know how to deal with the guilt over hurting her, and the fact that he still feels like he loves he.
I told him to cut communications, and to stop thinking about her. He is sad, but trying. He is on a new plan, to sell this house, go rent an RV this summer and go explore the west coast to find the perfect town to live in. Finally, a concrete plan! He want to bring our granddaughters along! (Me too, he wants me in this plan!)
But like someone said above, the OP will start making more emotional demands and the MLC'er will run away. She wants him to rescue her. She makes her situation out to be so horrible. I think she is either putting on a good act or she needs to go back to the Psych Ward for a longer visit.
Pretty much my H feels like he caused some of her problems but not all of them. She feels like everything is all his fault. So right now I am just watching what many here predicted come to be.
Sure hope I can keep up my detachment.
Sure hope he remembers the plan tomorrow!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
