Forget about H for now... Focus on this trip and what a great opportunity it presents to take care of yourself.
HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Have a good trip Purg! I assume you have a phone and I also assume your H has your #. If he needs something he should call. Try not to worry too much about him and focus on yourself.
I'm getting more focused on myself and my trip and I finish packing and making playlists for the road. I've also downloaded a few audiobooks, including Laura Munsons' (the one that 25 posted about on barely floating's thread) so it should help to make the trip go by faster.
H did call...at 8:30. He said he had just gotten out of the gym. I don't believe him but it doesn't matter- because he has to live with the fact that it's so easy for him to lie to me.
He said: "So... I don't want to ask to many questions, but what do I need to know about your trip? I mean, if something happens...er, uh.... you don't have to tell me all the details." {can you see the questions marks over my head??} I told him where I'm going first and that I will end up at my parents house sometime mid-week. As far as the details in between- I don't have anything set in stone. {This was my attempt to satisfy his question, but keep somethings a mystery.} H: "Ok, ummm. Any plans for Superbowl?" {This is where I KNEW he had been talking to his brother!! I didn't want to lie, so I kept things light}: "Yeah, I've been talking to [BIL] about getting together to watch the game. He's got a soccer game that morning and then he's going to a co-worker's for the game. I think I'll go with him, I just don't want to impose on a stranger." H: "Well, there will be a bunch of people there, like the house parties we used to have. Did he say who was having the party?" {HOW would he know this- unless he's been talking with his brother about my plans?! Checking up on me already??} Or maybe his brother wanted to keep him in the loop so as not to appear that there's anything 'sketchy' going on. FOR THE RECORD: BIL lived in the apartment below H & I in college, we have always been friends- even turing to each other for R advice. I've NEVER been attracted to BIL, I only wanted to hang out with some people my age to watch the game- sitting with my MIL on her couch with her boyfriend isn't my idea of fun. I asked H's 'permission' to call BIL about hanging out for the game- he said he was ok with it. M: "No, he just said it was a co-worker." H: long silence... "Oh, ok." {H knows most of BIL co-workers from when they all hung out on New Years... it makes me wonder if there is a certain person that H doesn't want me around... interesting that he would care.} I really wonder if H will keep tabs on me through his brother....wonder???? We talked a little more about what time I'm leaving in the morning and if H is coming to stay here tonight. He said I could just knock on his door when I leave in the morning That kinda bums me out, but I'm hoping this is 'normal' WAS behavior- where they can't act like the care or even notice if we leave??
ok, off to bed so I can get up and leave before my boys get up.... I've already kissed them and put them to bed, I don't want to hear the crying in the morning if they see me leave. It may seem cowardly of me, but I don't want to start my trip in tears.
Good Night DB family, I'll check in with y'all tomorrow night (since trying to post while driving will be VERY difficult!)
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
wow! sounds like someone is fishing! good job on answering w/out really answering. sort of like when H asked me "oh.. you're going out tonight?".. i wanted to say no. i always wear these fitted jeans w/ flirty top to go to the grocery store. and then later saying.. "have fun.. wherever you're going". i mean, who says that?? wording it to sound like they really just don't care.
you are going to have a great time!!! i'm so excited for you!! will be waiting for your check in!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
Quick post (as my car is warming up in the 36 degree weather)....
I woke up H to tell him good bye, and he rolled over, said drive safe, and went back to sleep. Wow. Talk about detached.
What he doesn't know: I KNOW that he didn't come home until 5:45 this morning, because my alarm went off at 5:30- and I saw that the bedroom light (which we leave on for one another if we are out late) was still on. So I hit snooze and closed my eyes. H snuck in my room at 5:41, walked over to me and stood over me with his cell phone for a minute, then snuck back out and went to his room. Not sure what that was about. My snooze went off a few minutes later and I got up to start my day.
If he knew I was leaving so early in the morning, why would he stay out the LATEST he's ever stayed before and choose to come home at the time that I would be leaving?!?! Crazy. Normal people would choose to stay in the place that they are expected to be awake- at such an early time in the morning- so they could actually get more sleep.
Like bklyn said: "can't mind read someone who's lost their mind"
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Have a great trip, babe! You deserve this time away.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Quick post before I pass out... So I'll write the whole story tomorrow, but I stopped in my old college town (Jacksonville, FL) to have dinner with a great friend. Well, dinner turned into drinks, which turned into dancing.... And now I'm sleeping on her couch (with a little buzz.) I like traveling with no specific plans and no kids! This was a fun night
Its strange to be back in town, I haven't been here in 6 years! This town holds some of my greatest memories: I was born here, moved away when I was 10. I got my first apartment here after high school I went to college/graduated here. Met H at college Got married here
There are so many places/ buildings that remind me of a great time in my life.... It's comforting and sad at the same time.
I'm off to Orlando tomorrow to catch the game with my BIL! I hope everyone is having a great weekend- I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to catch up with y'all today.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
That kinda bums me out, but I'm hoping this is 'normal' WAS behavior- where they can't act like the care or even notice if we leave?? 