Never thought I'd be here........part 8

[2thepoint]

Crimson, you are in a tough but enviable spot, to be sure...

"She texted me about the time to meet to pick up stuff for her. I told her that I would pass right by her place on the way home and I could just pick her and S up on the way. She responded that she would prefer to drive....that the sudden increase in attention was overwhelming her. Then, I started to feel bad.....sorta rejected in a way. I realized that maybe I was moving too fast....expecting too much. I started to beat myself up about it. Regardless, I did my best to get over it - but still felt crappy that she had to make that statement."

You are in a precarious position and you need to take it very slow. Don't beat yourself up but also set the proper expectation so that you aren't disappointed when things don't go as you hoped they would. The fact that she is being open and honest with you about her feelings (i.e. attention is overwhelming) is golden information and you need to act accordingly. If she is overwhelmed, back off some. If she is feeling lonely, pick up the pace some, etc., etc. Just let her clues direct how you will navigate these choppy waters.

"I walked them back to W's car and buckled in the baby. I kinda thought she would look at me and say good-bye or something, but she just kinda piled into the drivers seat and said "see you tomorrow" (for the hand-off) without even looking at me."

OK, so deal with it. This is the first meeting since you met at the MC and it was mostly good and a little off in some areas. Balance the two and move forward. Don't dwell on the bad parts or it will way you down and you may end up overcompensating during the next interaction which would be bad.

"The new challenge for me is WHAT TO DO! I don't know how to handle dating someone that I am married to. Don't get me wrong....I am S T O K E D that I have made this progress, but I think I am hungering too much for more. I find myself doubting that she is interested in me at all (dangerous mind reading, I know)."

These are probably typical feelings. But come on Crimson! What were you expecting? You've got to take it one day at a time. There are going to be good and bad days. Eventually you are either going to get more good days than bad or vise, versa. Just deal with it as it comes and have no expectations. go with the flow!!

I think you should consider setting some emotional boundaries right now. Somewhere in DR it talks about accepting some but not all invitations to meet with your W. Maybe you should not plan to meet again until your next MC session and then maybe let a week go by before you two do something together again. I think it is just as important now as it was before to maintain your GAL and create some mystery.

Just take it slow.
One day at a time.
Limit your expectations.
Maintain your GAL.
Create mystery.
Hang on!