How do you let go? Calling it quits.

[hope2011]

H made it back in time for the MC appointment. He complained the whole time about my cooking, cleaning, (neither meet his standards) how he wants a millionaire lifestyle and I'm happy with any life (that's a bad thing???). We didn't fight, left in an ok mood. The MC called him out on his controlling stuff, in a nice way. She asked me (in front of him)... "when H says stuff like that does it make you feel like less a person?" My response was "No, I'm fine with myself. I give 150%. It makes me feel like HE'S less a person to be that rude". That shocked him. The MC was actually proud of me because I usually just give him and appease him to keep the peace and lose myself and rather hurt and sulk that fight with him. Yeah me. Didn't make me feel great, it only made me wonder "WTH am I with this man??????".

Tomorrow afternoon H is meeting with the boys for lunch... that he scheduled at the same time as church so he doesn't have to go to church with me. Ditched again.

First time he's seen them since Christmas as they've asked to live with their mom and he's somewhat given in. I am NOT invited to this lunch. H was clear on that. Apparently I'm not a member of the family. Without me there, he will agree to whatever they want so they still like him. Nevermind they have no parenting, supervision or rules there and their grades have plummeted or what's right for the boys. Not that I'd argue with him in front of them, but I would ask questions. So I give up. His kids. The MC told me I need to detach from his kids because my caring doesn't fix anything, it only gets me upset and hurt. So I'm done. Congrats H, you have a W who loves your kids and you just keep blowing up the family farther apart. Great job. Ugh.

Tomorrow evening his buddy's family is throwing a Superbowl party and he wants me to go. He never, ever, EVER wants to socialize with my friends. Ever. Any time we are with other couples, it's his friends... whose wives I don't like at all (rude, gossipy, etc). But I go to support him. As a 180 I said I'm not going, not interested. His friends. Don't care if it's a family event, he can go alone. Like I go to every single family event alone for my work and friends. I didn't say that last sentence but I thought it. I'm not being mean, just tired of always playing second fiddle.

Just FYI... I may be negative here. But I'm venting. I can't say this stuff IRL. I'm still DB'ing. Though most days I have no idea why.