Outside the Scope of This Report

[sleeper]

I totally agree with the premise that mclers have some underlying issues and I believe they're often rooted in childhood. The older I get theore I appreciate the truth in old sayings. These people were "damaged goods" when we met them and that's not saying we aren't too.

My X has to have something major going on in her life. I can look back and every summer of our M and every summer since has been marked with something major:

our marriage/opened business/became pregnant
first child born
relocated our business
second child born
daughter raped
moved residence
trial begins
bookeeper takes all, disappears
trial ends
move residence again
paternal figure death/mlc trigger
separation

All that in 8 years (I left out the "minor" stuff)

Her father was a civil servant and she has said she lived in over 50 residences growing up, one outside the continental US. She was physically and sexually abused as a child, her mother divorced him (at the exact same age as when she divorced me and our D was the exact same age she was when her parents divorced). Her mother remarried a man who also sexually
abused her.

Many of the mlc behaviors that have manifested themselves post-bomb I saw glimpses of during our marriage (mood swings, anger outbursts, physical violence, narcissism, spending sprees). There were changes in her at first trigger (maternal figure death) and they went into overdrive at paternal figure death. She also had a potentially life threatening medical diagnosis at the same time as paternal figure death which turned out to be a mis-diagnosis.

My C believes she has a borderline personality. I agree as she shows sign of multiple personality disorder, hypochondria, and bipolar disorder. She readily admits to having hypochondria and has described herself as being a bit "controlling".

As for me, I saw red flags along the way but never saw this mlc thing coming.

OMH got very nervously angry at X when she became jealous of my dating and was spewing at me. He said to her, "This is a major red flag".

He and will have to compare notes someday.

Sorry for tge hijack but I believe it's beneficial for us all to look back at our mlcers behaviors and history and then look at our own.