Good to hear that your h is being more reasonable. But if He is in a full on MLC - and these do not resolve quickly and in a matter of months, then he will say one thing one day and something completely different, even within the space of an hour or so. And not just about emotional stuff. For them money is part of the deal.
Of course it is not simply about money, but money is one of the dimensions, sadly, we have to think about. Am I said, I am glad I waited and even though I ended up worse off. But like you, because of protected pension rights being penniless was never an option. I totally understand those with children who have to act in order to protect themselves and their children. Some MLCers are very very mean and will abandon their financial responsibilities if they can, even to very young and dependent children.
It is ugly is you are on your own and poor, and older . . . . and alone!! Let us not lose our sense of humour and sense of self worth in all this! We matter, as well as our Marriage and our MLC spouse.
What I am trying to get across is that we can do our best, and they still leave us to go on with their journey. It isn't simply down to what we do and say, or don't do and say,and not helpful imho to add that burden of responsibility to everything else.
