Thanks for your thoughts. I will say that sometimes I can read him like a book, other times, muddy water.
To his credit, when he presented the plan he said he knew half the money was mine, he planned to give me more out of the proceeds from the sale of the house.
And I am pretty well protected, as he is retired military, and due to the length of our marriage I would have half of his retirement, survivors benefit plan and life insurance that would most likey stay in place.
If it were about money I would have already been divorced! I still love the guy and do know the nice guy must still be in there somewhere!
He has made several moves in the past few days to show me he is willing to stay together and work it out. Besides talking about it, that is!
He changed his radio station, because the one he listens to reminds him of her. (Applauding the 1%)
He asked me to speak to OW's STBX at yoga, to get him to check in on her, or have someone check on her, as the suicide threats continue. She also has lost over 30 pounds in the past 6 weeks.
No matter how mad I am at her and my H, I don't wish harm to her. Of course I believe part of it is her pulling everyones strings. But not eating and being that depressed is just scary.
An added bonus of talking to OW's STBX was hearing his view of what is going on. He said he offered to pack her up and bring her to our house. I said to him: "Thanks." He smiled.... He said she claimed to not want to leave him.
He told me he is deploying soon. She told my H he was being kicked out of the service.
By my H asking me to speak to OW's STBX he was also sending her the message that he is sharing decisions and information with me. Again, may not seem big to you all.
But in the past she got mad when he and I talked about anything personal to her that maybe she had shared with him and he shared with me. Part of how I figured out there was something going on between them. So apparently he doesn't care if she gets mad. Or wants her to get mad?
Today I was going to go to the beach by myself. Then I had a wild idea, call H and asked did he want to go for a picnic dinner to the beach. He said yes. So I came home after my workout, did some chores, packed up a nice picnic and we went when he got home from work. He even came home from work early!
I told him what I heard at yoga, and he has not brought it up again. I suspect he is thinking about it all. He is being nice to me, seems to be trying. I am giving him space and time.
I wanted the beach time, because he seems to enjoy activities together. But I'm not pushing it too hard.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
