New to piecing

[dragonflie]

I guess I just have a need for honesty, that I have trouble holding back my feelings, (I am much more gentle in how I verbalize them though), and am not really db'ing at all.
He has been great, loving and kind, interested and thoughtful.
But I found a matchmaking site on the history, which he says he knows nothing about. He looked at one once before, at first denied it, then admitted it saying he was just curious as to what it looked like and what the people said on their bios.

So, trust is even worse than I thought. He denies OW, although he said he called and old gf, but didnt get together with her while we were separated.

He is still moving back in and things are going not so good.

I have not been able to keep my mouth shut about all the things he keeps telling me he has bought himself and things I see, when I didn't have enough to live on. I feel hurt and unloved.
He has never even gotten me an engagement ring or anniversary ring, but can spend over $1000 minimum on himself, plus costly gifts for his family at Christmas. It hasnt even crossed his mind to even get me a flower or card.
This is hard than I thought it would be.