You mentioned that your BF is taking AD's. Is it possible that the AD's have killed his sex drive and he's embarrassed about that? Is it possible that rather than admitting he feels like "less of a man" he's blaming you for not being able to turn him on because that's easier than confronting himself?
Has he talked to his doctor about his reduced sex drive?
If he's blaming you for his lack of sex drive because that's the easiest way for him to deal with it, then there may not be anything you can do.
If you don't feel that's the case, then all you can do is have another conversation about what he wants and keep clarifying until you understand. The key here is you can't let him talk about how he wants to feel, because you can't deliver that. You have to ask, "when you feel that way, what am I doing or saying specifically?"
Obviously he's not going to want to lay out a precise script for you and then have you do exactly that, so you'll need to improvise a bit based on what he's told you. Also ask about timing, how you might be able to tell he's in the mood, etc.
You referenced that you've tried lingerie a few times and he's given you blah responses. When you get into this conversation, ask him why that was without making it an accusation. You tried to do what he asked for but it didn't work, what part did you miss or misunderstand?
Wish I could be more helpful, it's a tough one!
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
