Waiting for the tides to change - 2

[BFloat]

wow! i can't believe it's time to start another thread!! i just want to say thanks first to everyone who's been following my sitch and has given support and advice. it has been invaluable and a complete lifesaver during these trying times!!!

my threads..

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2205555#Post2205555

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2214359#Post2214359

well.. it's now february. bomb dropped in october and honestly.. i didn't think i would be here 4 months later. wow! can't believe it's been 4 months.

i am still sad but, don't feel so defeated anymore. i think things clicked when i realized and accepted the fact that i have zero control over the situation. of course i backslide and get teary.. but.. the recovery time is shorter.

i still have the goal of having my family back together. i haven't bothered telling H that though. also, it is no longer my primary focus. my primary focus has become to save myself.. for the sake of my children and hopefully for my M. we'll see.

leaving the kids for the weekend again but have my GAL activities planned out! heading out w/ some girls from work tonight. shopping w/ mom tomorrow AM and then meeting a gf to see "sixteen candles" on the big screen!! sunday is currently open but hoping to pick up a shift at work. then i will be back w/ my babies again on monday!! keep busy!! just have to keep doing stuff so that i don't lose my mind.

H txted last night and again this morning. small talk like.. "good morning. hope everyone is bundled up. it's cold outside" i sometimes wonder if he's just testing the waters.. or wanting to check in and get info about the kids.. who knows. can't dwell because i will never come up with the right answer!

it's a beautiful day! feels more like spring. as though there's a lot of promise in the air.