Autumn,
You are making great progress.
I'm no vet.. but here are a few questions to get some thoughts flowing.

Why do you feel the need to apologize and explain all the time?

What do you feel would happen if you walked away from a destructive conversation?

What do you feel would happen if in the midst of seeing the conversation escalate, you call attention to it?

Do you fear "pissing" him off even more?

M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.