I am not really sure what to say - I need some support. I have been out of my apartment for 31 days now. Last night, my wife told me that she is ready to sign papers - she's done, she doesn't want me to share my feelings anymore. She initiated, though hasn't filed.
During the last few weeks, I have felt.... variably. Sometimes, I want to try to work it out. Sometimes, I recognize that the relationship was very unhealthy and that I feel much better w/o the daily abuse and criticism. We are both at fault and I am aware of that. I do not desire to play the blame game.
What sparked this last change of heart on her part was a note I left telling her that if we were going to work things out, she would have to start seeing a counselor at least. She is bipolar and told me 2 weeks ago that she no longer thinks she is ill and is not taking her medicine. I was concerned and protecting myself, but I think I should have been more caring in my note, as I was upset when I wrote it and definitely cold. And hypocritical, as I am a recovering alcojolic that hasn't been treating my alcoholism for years (not drinking for 6, but on and off pot for the last few). I am back in recovery now and doing my best to work on me.
I'm just really confused and fluctuate between wanting to try to work things out and wanting to go my own way. We would be married 4 years this coming Thursday. She kicked me out officialy on Jan 2.
We have had lots of problems. Communication is practically non-existent and has been for some time. It's like one of us tries, the other one doesn't. And then we flip positions.
I don't know what to do. I sent her a text asking her to consider counseling with me in March. I do not intend to contact her until then. Maybe an anniversary card. I don't know.
