Well, you didn't answer my questions, so I'll try to answer yours.
Quote:
This may be a no-brainer, but it is something that has been on my mind in my situation: Is there ever a situation where bringing up an OM in a calm manner (when likely not expected to be received this way by W) actually helps the communication and helps all parties feel more relieved if handled properly?
In case you missed reading this in most all the LBH's threads, they all wanted to talk to the OM or do something to cause the WAW admit her A, and especially wanted her to know that he knows what she's done. They all believed 100% that discussing the problem calmly would make everyone feel better. The truth is that it's just the LBH who wants to feel better, and doesn't want to follow the advice given here.
So after this calm discussion, then what?
Oh yes, there have been others exactly like you! I have seen the LBH discuss the A with his WAW. Yes, the communication opened alright......it opened for her to tell him how she felt toward OM, how hard it was to try to live without him, and day in - day out the LBH had to listen to her whine and cry over the OM. I haven't seen success from doing this type of "better communication" but if you think you'd feel better hearing your W talk about him.....then have at it.
You talk about wanting honesty, but the truth is that you want your W to know what you know about the A. That's why you feel the urge to have the talk. But you aren't seeing what's beyond her surprised face after you tell her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
