25 asked me what will I do if she never makes it back, or doesn't want to make it back. Its a lot to dwell on.
I dont have answers at this point.
In reading your past couple posts, I think you are stuck here. you have been thinking about this and it has knocked you on your asss.
I think you are looking too far over your shoulder to see "where" your wife is at this point.
I think you are setting yourself up for failure , based on what YOU think your wife is capable of.
It is all too easy to get caught up in the "what ifs".
What I see right now from you, is fear based. And it is such a F-ed up fear. Eventually, during a stand, the LBS goes through a fear of success. We fear being successful on our own, and we fear that we won't need our spouse in our life. We fear success because it moves us (from what we feel) is too far in a direction away from them.
And if we takes those steps, we are afraid that they will not be able to "catch up".
I ask you this Rick....Can one lead from behind ????
I think 25's question to you was entirely appropriate, and deserves your FULL attention. Yet I know that it was not intended to throw you for the loop it has thrown you in.
It was intended to move you forward, to take a step toward YOUR future.
Until you get to know yourself better, you may not be able to answer that.
Your post the other day...
That is the "meat and potatoes" of DBing. Getting to know ones self again well enough to know, without a doubt, what you are willing to sacrifice for your relationship. NOT to give you a reason to accept defeat.
Nobody knows what the future holds. And to predict what actions your wife is capable of, would be pretty arrogant. Hell, I'm pretty sure you cannot predict what YOU are capable of.
This is where the rubber meets the road in DB terms...
Defining yourself...
Please don't misunderstand.
I'm NOT telling you to stick a fork in this. Her confusion is a very GOOD sign....
What I am saying is , that you should keep on working toward defining yourself, taking steps toward your future.
And STOP looking towards her, for your answers to the questions.
In time, you will realize that you have all of your answers, you were just asking the wrong questions.
