I was just reading 25's response to Tad on the MLC forum. That woman's intuition is amazing. She made me recognize something.
After a certain passage of time, when one lands on their emotional feet and begins to think clearly in retrospective, I find that losing XW is not nearly so painful as losing the "idea" of marriage.
On Sunday my parents will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary (second marriage for mom). That's what pains me more now; I lost that, the realization that I'm not going to grow old with that person sitting across the courtroom.
That doesn't mean there won't be someone else or that through some long life labyrinth we might find our way back together, but who's holding their breath huh?
In retrospective, I could let her go, because, well because she wasn't perfect; nobody is. I saw a T-shirt once on a biker; thought it was funny at the time. On it was written: "No matter how good she looks, somebody somewhere is tired of her sh!t." I know it's mean, and sexist, whatever, but it touches a nerve.
After all this time, losing the "idea" seems to hurt more than losing the XW. Call me crazy.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
