Hmmmm well I am not sure I agree with 'don't file if you want to save your marriage' I didn't file, my xh did eventually, and as a result I am substantially worse off than if I had filed within a reasonable period. I am totally opposed to divorce, but MLC is not a usual or predictable state, however much we see of it on these boards!
So if I had filed I might be sitting here thinking that if I hadn't, he might have come back. Some do and some don't, but really MLC is all about them. If we have issues we need to address, and most of us do, then deal with those. Detach for your own sake, but do not expect them to come through this. It is wonderful when someone 'wakes up' and sort themselves out, but I am not sure it is a very large percentage
And as for it being anything we said or did, I absolutely do not believe that. I used to but I think they come through it or they don't. It is their journey, not ours.
I loved my husband and I have let him go, let go of the hurt, pain and abuse. I don't want any of it in my life any more. I had a great marriage, a rough period, and now I am fine, and I regret nothing.
