Taking an example from Ces67: I'm going to list some positives... even the super small ones! I'm trying to get myself in a better state of mind....

In 2 months since the bomb:
* H still has his wedding ring on his keychain, it was put there the day of the bomb. I see this as positive because he has to see it everyday, and I've even seen him playing with it when he's holding his keys... better than being in a drawer somewhere.
* H still wanted to come to the house whenever he wanted- so much so- that I had to create a boundary.
* ALL of his things are still at the house AND all his clothes are still in his dresser and closet.
* H sleeps in the marital bedroom with the baby when he is here on his nights- he could have chosen to sleep in the guest room and move the baby in there. (I sleep in the guest room on his nights)... I make sure that the sheets smell like my perfume so he'll have some sweet dreams smile
* H doesn't always avoid me. When there's not an event to run off to- he will initiate chats. He also has no problem being in close proximity to me- like when we are moving around in the kitchen [it's SOOOOO tempting for me to grab him and kiss him!!]
* H still asks about my plans- but he thinks he's sneaky about it: "So, are you going out tonight or staying at the house?" "I didn't expect that you would be home at this time, everything ok?" "Got big plans for your night off?".... Sometimes I respond with a joke- "yeah, the club closed early", other times I just shrug it off or change subjects.
* H said a month ago, that he was in no rush to get papers signed, then after Xmas and OW, he seemed inspired to get them together. BUT, *I* am the one who has a L, and the one who has made changes to the papers... H has seen three Ls and can't commit to one, AND he has the papers in his possession and isn't doing anything with them.
* Last weekend, he CHOSE to stay here at the house, even though it was his 'weekend off' from the kids. He asked if I was handling things ok and mentioned that I was being nicer to him (but he interpreted that as me 'getting the wrong idea')... but he's still curious enough to initiate the questions.


We have a MC session tomorrow, we regularly check-in once a month. C doesn't know about OW or me leaving town- so it could get VERY interesting in her office!! At our last session, H had again mentioned that he had no intention of dating at that time- so this whole new OW sitch will come at quite a shock to her!!


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12