I am pretty sure my H is over the idea to cash in his IRA. And if he did, I have bank records of it. So I wouldn't lose it, i would just get more cash from the sale of the house.
Are you sure of that? If no one has filed for separation, I would think any expenditures are just assumed to be mutually agreed-upon decisions. As in - you and H decided to cash out his IRA to spend on whatever, now later you file for divorce and that money is just gone and not part of any equation.
See, this is why I recommend seeing a lawyer. Your H doesn't have to know. It doesn't mean you're going to file. You just need to FIND OUT where you stand financially if her leaves, and what you need to do to safeguard your finances.
