Outside the Scope of This Report

[angel61]

Glad to hear that you H is being kind, Wendy! I do think you are on the right track. I kind of panicked when I saw the advice to you on hiring a lawyer because I had a feeling that your H would have that kind of reaction.... especially at the stage he is in.

One thing about the MLC'er seeing that we are not miserable .... although at first they may hate us for not being in the same boat as they are, there comes a point that they start wondering why we are not, and sometimes, wonder and appreciation will start from that. My H asked me once how I could be so strong, and happy, and still love him inspite of all his faults. I told him that happiness is something you can find within yourself. He thought about that a lot, and now it is one of the things he has told me he is actively working on!

I love Hawaii too, we go visit there every year. I can imagine how hard it would be to leave.

Yes, sit back wait and see. Let it play out by itself. Let your H find his way.

Once your M gets stronger, you need not worry about OW anymore. It will get to that point. My H once said to me that the circumstances which made the EA happen was unique, and the state of our M was the one that contributed to it. IN other words, the EA/OW was a symptom of what was missing in our M. Part of it was my fault, part of it was his. But when we started doing the work to improve on it, when he made the decision to commit and love, I started to understand that the OW no longer mattered.

I am not saying that I do not feel the hurt and the anger when I remember, but I am able to rationalize now and put it out of my head.