Outside the Scope of This Report

[angel61]

Sleeper, was your xW violent prior to that event? i think though that violence is inexcusable, especially when it happens repetetively, and even if you did make mistakes, you are still better off without your xW.

What I meant about the LBS sealing the fate of the M.... in many cases, it is the LBS who files. I remember many times that I had to literally hold on to my seat to keep from coming home and packing my clothes when I was so fed up with my H texting and taking to OW.

I knew though that ultimately, my H would come back. I work on GAL, 180's, detaching, and my own shortcomings.

I gave H space to figure out things. I did not pursue. True, I backslid evey now and then and forced R talk, or snooped, or demanded and controlled.... but it made matters worse every single time. Those tyimes grew farther and farther apart. We would go back to living our lives together but apart, and trying to make it work for our daughter. It was tough, but in my mind, worth trying.

At first H was so much "in love"with OW. Then he started to waver. Then he realized it would be foolish to give up his life for OW, as he had so much invested in us, his family. But then he felt stuck, because he believed he no longer loved me. He was miderable, as he felt OW had rejected him. He had terrble withdrawal. I felt hurt, rejected, worthless. But after Retrouvaille, he started to see that love is a choice.

He decided to choose love, and so now we are working on it! Finally, we have hope.....

But had I not been patient, we would not be in piecing now. But thanks to this board, and God, we are now in a better place. Though not out of the woods, it is 1000x better than last year.....