Sleeper, The mcler does send out mixed signals all of the time because they are so confused and their wiring in their brains is sparking. Everything becomes a "jumbled mess" for a very long time and that's why mixed signals are being sent out to us.
Confusion is one of the major keys in depression/mlc. However, don't beat yourself up over what decisions you had made. There is never a right or wrong way in dealing w/them. Had she done what you did, you most likely would have been fine w/her actions. However, she still wanted to dictate to you just where you should be and when. She tended to "conveniently forget" that you were separated and a grown man and could do what you wanted, as long as it didn't interfer with the children. In the mlcer's mind, we should be right where they left us and jump when they want us. In the real world, that might happen for a period of time, but we then begin to heal and move on. They hate that when we do begin to focus on other things and are not as miserable they are.
Your situation was all three, i.e., confused, cake-eating and very selfish.
Sleeper, you've come a long way and sound so much better.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
