Outside the Scope of This Report

[sleeper]

angel61,

I believe your description of mlcer confusion as to what they want is accurate. I felt I was getting mixed signals from my mlcer in the beginning within the first 6 months post-bomb.

I made two mistakes ("Its up to the LBS") that I believe sealed the fate of my M. It was touch and go in the beginnang and I believe my actions made it "go". I had ordered two tickets to a concert and invited X. She was non-commital about going but didn't say "no". The day of the concert I stopped by her place after work to get a final answer. She said she didn't have a babysitter lined up and didn't see how she could go. Not wanting to waste the other ticket I asked a mutual female friend of ours just a couple of hours before the concert explaining I had the extra ticket. I thought this was a safe choice as she was a childhood friend of X and I had known her since X and I began dating. Wrong. X went ballistic, saying I had taken her best friend out on a "date". X came to my apt that night and became physically violent. I could have had her arrested but only filed a police report the next day.

The second mistake (or not) was not going along on what had previously been an annual family vacation with her and the kids. We were still separated but I had agreed to go along. Along the way I found out OM was supposed to come down for the end of the week which explained why I was invited for only the first part of the week. Then the day prior to the trip she spewed at me pretty bad while I was going out of my way to help her by taking her car to be serviced. I decided being cooped up in a condo for a week together wasn't such a good idea after all, a decision made easier by my discovery the OM was scheduled to be there the end of the week after I left. She even called and offered to pay for a separate hotel room for me if I'd go. As it turned out OM didn't go either.

This angered her even more, as she claimed I had gone back on my word and when she returned from the trip she came straight to my place. I made her leave immediately because she had our son with her and the previous time she was there she beat me black and blue (literally). I didn't want DS to witness something like that. My forcing her to leave my apt put her off some more. Three months later she would slap me in front of both kids for the crime of hiring a lawyer of my own in response to hers filing for D. It was shortly after this incident she gave her lawyer the go ahead to file.

Confusion? Cake eating extraordinaire? Selfishness unparalled? A little of all three? I'll never know but I wish I'd handled those two events differently.