Wife in "D - Freight Train Mode"

[kolja]

I'm also in the boat of not having kids and had wondered the same thing you asked - but hadn't figured out a 'graceful' way to answer it. I didn't want to sound like I was JEALOUS of couples in this situation with children, because I know that adds a significant layer of stress and it has to be a horrible thing for the children to go through. But at the same time, I did feel like it presented opportunities for the spouses to interact with each other (and see changes, and the whole nine yards) that those of us without them don't have. So I'm glad you asked the question, because the answers were enlightening!

Mach1, you said something interesting - "LRT, going dark, sticking your head in a bucket....whatever you wanna call it.
Is for you to protect yourself...NOT to induce a reaction from your spouse." While it's UNDOUBTEDLY helped me to keep my sanity, I DO seem to remember reading (and I may be mistaken - if so I hope to be corrected) that in so doing we're also giving the walk-away spouse the emotional space to consider something OTHER than JUST getting away. I seem to remember reading that when one spouse is really into trying to proactively work on and save the marriage, all the reluctant spouse can focus on is how much they want to get away.