My W MAY or may not be MLC. I have and am still in LRT, going on about 11 months.
Every sitch is different. I, at first, could not be in the same room with my W for the same reason as you, Mnky. Now, I can do that. I still don't trust myself if we are discussing R in any way.
Here's the thing, and people talk about how long they stay mad...
Some, it happens like a boomerang and the WAS can come back all "OMG I so miss you and I want to spend time with you and chat and I just don't want to be M because right now I need my space..."
For me (and others, sometimes)... LRT all you want and they stay mad... *shrug*...
As an example, we have an SA which spells out time with the kids. My W sends me an email asking if I'm getting the kids and how to arrange pickup... I hadn't thought it would be any different than as described in the SA, although our "plan" is to be flexible"...
So I fire off an email to her just saying that I didn't have any clear plans and even (joked) that she could bring the kids to me... this email was literally laced with about 10 smiley faces...
My W (I can't mind read, but figure she needed to calm down after reading the email) says in no uncertain terms that she would NOT be bringing the kids to me... I'm like... WTF...???
I respond back saying that I was joking and she responds back saying how it's hard to read "tone" in email... ummm... hunh?
OK, so I have to figure out what I can do to change THAT dynamic...
Anyhow, point is, there's got to be some way for me to behave in a way that can cut through her anger... but then again... only she can choose to dump the anger... only she knows IF or when that might happen...
But that does not mean I'm no contact. That stuff pretty much bounces off me, now... It's a matter of controlling our REactions when we do have contact... and detaching is the solution...
