Now if I could just teach them how to FISH they would never be hungry again, right MACH?
Yes, I need to be taught "how to fish", but also be reminded of how to do it right every so often. I think that's important for me to be able to "stay on track". As time goes by and you are "treading waters", it's easy to lose focus.
Journaling: Had a fairly calm night last night. H was actually home before S4 and I (we stopped at a store on the way home), but I didn't expect him to be home "that early". I cooked dinner, H handed me a few things in the process, dinner was quiet, H had seconds - overall fairly casual. After S4 was in bed I went to the bedroom, read a little/surfed the net. I'm coming down with a cold, so I felt drained and went to bed early. H ended up sleeping in bed again! This morning when he was in the shower the shower knob fell off and he asked me to bring him the screwdriver set. I did. There he was, standing naked in the shower and I'm handing him a screwdriver...nonchalantly.
I just returned a movie that H has had for a few days and he sends me an email asking whether we should go back to Netflix as this movie ended up costing a lot (because he didn't watch it until last night). I replied saying sure. Then he changed his mind saying that maybe it's not worth it and we should just be better at watching them and returning right away. I feel like that's what is going on in his head: "thinking" about "our" future (by looking into a subscription for "both of us"), then quickly changing his mind - don't want to think about future. I know I'm reading way more into it than I should. I just don't know what to do, what to say, how to act. Do I stay out of his way like I have in the last few days (which lead him to be "friendlier" with me and sleeping in bed)? Do I try to initiate a conversation (not R, just whatever)? And if so, how long do I keep this going? H hasn't asked why I've been in the bedroom so early for the past 3 nights, he doesn't really say much to me. I hope that me staying out of his way helps him feel a little more "relaxed" at home. I don't want him to hate being there. We don't have a lot of space, so I'm sure it's not easy for him to be around me all the time. He probably feels 'trapped' in a way.
I feel like I've been fairly upbeat about things in the past few days, I actually felt "happy" driving home last night (what a weird feeling). Today I'm feeling confused, but I think part of it is that I'm not feeling too well because of the cold. And I'm tired, even though I went to bed early.
