My Sitch/any better ideas than going dark?

[Broken74]

Thanks guys I appreciate both your insight, back on the horse it is.... :-(

I have been on the exact path you describe 111, almost the same pattern, the longest I have made it fully is a week thusfar. That is simply going to have to change. I do have about 7 months to work with before anybody is eligible to file which is good I guess. I am bound and determined to hold strong through the month of February as a short term goal. This will include Valentines Day obviously (which has always been a huge thing for us) as well as my birthday. It's going to be very hard to do nothing for her on Valentines day (although I do think I'm going to send my stepkids a little something unless anyone thinks that's a bad idea), and it will be interesting to see if she acknowledges my birthday or not...

Man what a constant mental battle this is... That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger though right? Thanks again!