Hi Grumpy(and SIAS). erm... I dont think it's a good idea to share my story. you'd probably get too depressed :-} Although I will share one nice thing; since she walked out in 2006, she has become considerably easier to talk to, and discuss important things with. Back then she was spouting things such as, "if I'm not happy, the children can't be happy either". And blaming me for things that were in no way my fault. Impossible to reason with someone who has that kind of self-absorbed mindset. Keep in mind that when someone gets like that, you can't "debate them out of it". They're not interested in facts or reality any more.
Some things only improve with time, and actions.
Kaffe: no, dont think that will be even close to "good enough", i'm afraid. I think she wants to know that romantic feelings can be reliably recovered, if (... insert facts/studies here...)
