What type of support system are you in to help you with the drinking problem?

I'm sure you realize that your W will probably see your decision not to drink as some last ditch attempt to get her to R. If I had stayed 22 yrs with an alcoholic, I would be waiting for the other shoe to hit the floor at any time. If she's thinking you'll pick the bottle up again, then that's going to be extra pressure on you. That's another reason you'll need a strong support system, b/c she may not give you the encouragement you need, for fear it might mislead you to think she's changing her mind about the M and OM, etc.

You've passed on part, and that's knowing you can't control her talking with OM. Just as she couldn't control your drinking. So, now you have to focus on you and what you can control about yourself.

I've read other stories where men came to the same point you face, and they laid it down. You can do it.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!