Sorry for the extra long delay, but we had an extra busy holiday season. We ended up making a roast, seafood dip and salad for Christmas dinner. Hope that you had a wonderful holiday! My mother is doing much better and she literally moved out a few days ago. It feels so good to have my personal space back again.
Business has been good, considering how slow January normally is. Ever since I started to focus on work more, it seems like everything has fallen into place. Am I still cautious? Of course. But, everything has improved tremendously. Our communication is better, arguing has been to a minimum and we spend a lot more quality time together.
I'm not exactly sure what the catalyst was, but I definitely think GALing has helped. We're acting more like a team instead of two separate entities, and it has greatly improved our outlook on life. We talk everyday while he is at work, plan dinner, talk about mundane things. It's like finding your long lost best friend.
On the other hand, I'm still pragmatic. There's been no therapy since November and I know that summer is the time of year that we have had all of our big fights. My next goal is to get back into therapy by the end of February. I don't snoop anymore, but that doesn't mean that everything is kosher. Its like he quit cold turkey. Then again, he always said that he cheated in spurts - I have no way to know if this is just another calm before the storm, but it really does feel different.
So basically, I'm pretty much just living for me and the kids. Right now, he's coming along for the ride and it's been extremely pleasant. In truth, I have no idea how much I will ever be able to trust him. He's still being weird about my phone, but I'm not exactly sure what its about. No more grabbing it out of my hands, but still very inquisitive.
I'm not doling out any ultimatums or telling him what will happen if it happens again. I've been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Whatever happens is just going to happen. Being financially secure will allow me to make a swift exit, if need be. He's an excellent father, and I hope that never changes.
I'm not sure what else to say. I'm in a good place right now, and its been that way for a couple of months now. Maybe he's seeing how close he came to losing what he had (the package family deal) but people can quickly become complacent when a crisis dies down. He's been incredibly respectful, considerate, transparent and caring. Coming straight home from work, taking the kids with him when he runs errands (at this age, they are human tape recorders) and following through on his promises. I don't believe that it is an act.
I guess the next stage is going to be consistently attending counseling sessions, joint and individual. It's not going to be easy, but I'm willing to put forth the effort.
Originally Posted By: verycrazy
Oh, I absolutely agree, having relatives living with you puts an incredible strain on everything. My mother is living with my sister, and she is stressed out even though she has full time care for her. I guess your mother's whole world was turned upside down when they D. Maybe there is some way to get back some of the closeness y'all once had. I hope you have a space to call your own, to get away from everyone, so you don't end up screaming and pulling your hair out.
Well, for Christmas, my MIL brings over corned beef and other stuff. I make potato salad, turkey, pecan cornbread dressing, regular potato and rutabaga mash, and some sort of green vegetable, so i you have any ideas there, let me know. Oh, I know, creamed spinach! For sweets, I don't know, yet. I thought about making molasses butterball cookies, and my H wants me to make a coconut cake. I want to try a recipe for cheese straws, too. I have lots of recipes I have used over the years, so if you need one, let me know. It is really so easy to cook a turkey, don't let anyone tell you it's hard to cook all this stuff. Dressing is nothing but mixing the cooled cornbread with toasted pecans, broth, and seasonings and other ingredients and cooking it. You can make it the day before and pop it into the oven for about forty minutes or so. Oh, I bought fresh cranberries to make cranberry sauce for the first time. I bought extra cranberries to string up for the birds. I think they like them, don't they? Oh, H is going to make sausage balls, too. Hey, you can have your mother help cook.
What kind of freelance work are you looking for? If you said, already, sorry. I hope you find lots of it.
So, what have you decided on for Christmas Dinner??
